Since the beginning of December, I’ve had a series of dreams with a particular pattern: I will lose someone, either physically or metaphorically. The weird thing is that -unlike previous times when something like that would come up in a dream- I seem to remain calm and feel it’s in my power to fix the situation, no matter how serious it is. Some of these dreams were very mundane and not really adventurous or interesting (well, unless you are actually me of course!) but there is one that I found particularly interesting. I haven’t been able to come up with any interpretation for it or explain the symbols in it, but here it is:
I was inside a neoclassical building. It was huge; I don’t even know how many rooms it had, it looked like a palace of some sort. It was a busy place, there were all kinds of beings there. Some were human while others were not, but all of them were in human-like form. I was there with three women, three sisters that I called my “aunts”, although they weren’t really my aunts. It is really difficult to describe them. I can’t put my finger on why, but there was something different about them, something that makes me think they weren’t really human (or mortal, for that matter), only pretending they were. They felt very chthonic but not in a “denizens of the underworld” kind of way exactly but more in a “very intimately connected to earth/nature magic” kind of way, like they were embodiments of a natural force of some kind. These women had watched over me since I was born, they had raised me and they had taught me everything I knew about magic. They always stayed together; I couldn’t remember a single instance in my life when they weren’t all together.
I had left the Aunts and was walking around the building, admiring the architecture and the beautiful paintings hanging on the walls when I realized something was very wrong. All my life, there was a constant connection between Archangel Raphael and myself, a psychic link I could use to communicate with him. I always had access to him through that connection. I would focus on it and I would instantly know where he was and what he was doing. And this connection was suddenly gone. There was this emptiness in my mind where the connection used to be, like someone had cut the line on the other end.
I ran up the stairs looking for Gabriel. I kept telling myself that Gabriel would know how to locate him, he would know if he is alright. I kept looking for him, but he was nowhere to be found. I saw Michael though. I knew he didn’t like me, but I thought this was way too important to let that deter me from telling him. So I told him what had happened. He just looked at me and told me “He is missing. No one knows what happened to him. He may not be alive.”. He said that in the calmest way possible, like it was nothing. I asked him to help me find him, but he just left without a word.
Before I had time to panick, I spotted Gabriel coming towards me. I grabbed him and told him what happened, how Raphael disappeared and how Michael didn’t appear to give a shit about it.
“How come everyone is so relaxed about it?”, I asked him. “You know this is important, right? You may not care about him, maybe none of you does, but you do realize that if someone managed to kidnap him then you may be next, right? They could do it to you too. They could do it to all of you!”
He looked at me, his expression not changing in the slightest.
“I am sorry but I cannot help you. You will have to find him yourself”.
“But what if I’m too late? What if by the time I find him, he’s already dead?”, I asked him.
“Well then, it looks like you will have to find him before it’s too late, or you will lose him forever”, he told me.
I thought about the Aunts. The Aunts always had a solution to everything. There was not a single thing they didn’t have a spell, a talisman or a potion for. They had some kind of magic for every possible kind of problem and quite a few impossible ones too. I could always rely on the Aunts. They’d know what to do. I ran down looking for them, but they were nowhere to be found.
I went upstairs again, where Gabriel was still standing in front of an open balcony door. There was a wardrobe there against the wall. I hadn’t noticed it before but I did now, because there was something inside it. There was knocking and weird noises coming from inside it. I opened the wardrobe door and looked inside. There were three pigs inside. They were wearing my Aunts’ hats. Someone had transformed them into pigs, and -based on the energy imprint on them- that someone was Gabriel.
I just stood there, looking at the pigs like a fool. There weren’t many people I truly trusted, many people I could truly rely on in the world. Raphael was missing. The Aunts were turned into pigs. Gabriel was the one who had turned them into pigs. And that was the end of my short list of people I truly trusted, of people I could go to for help.
I looked at him,standing there, his usual calm expression on his face, and I just lost it. I started screaming.
“You!!! You turned them into pigs!!! Why??? They were my last hope, I have no one else to help me! I know you weren’t the one who kidnapped Raphael, so why are you trying so hard to stop me from finding him???”. I should have been scared but I wasn’t, I was just really really angry.
“I told you, no one can help you. You have to do this alone. One day you’ll understand. One day you’ll be in the same position as one of your Aunts and you’ll have to play the same role for someone else. And you will know how scared and desperate they are, but you will also know how important it is for them to do it alone.”
“So this is what, a quest?”, I asked him. He just nodded.
“As I said, no one can help you, but what I can tell you is this: he is somewhere in this building.”
So I set out to find him. It wasn’t that easy a task cause the building was huge, but it was a relief at least to know he was inside the building. The building was basically a series of corridors with balconies, as well as countless rooms. I decided to check every balcony first. I don’t remember all the details, but I remember I stepped on a balcony and I could see a scene from my childhood going on, while the view from another balcony was that of a WWI battle.
I returned to the balcony that was near the wardrobe where my Aunts were, still in pig form. I hadn’t stepped out in that balcony. The view from inside the building was always that of the grounds outside. It seemed that you had to actually step on the balcony for whatever timey wimey thing that was going on to happen. I stepped on the balcony and looked down and around me. I was standing in one of the balconies in the Marble Court in Versailles.
In another balcony near mine, I saw a girl I know. She looked older. She was holding a baby in her arms. There was a parade of some kind in the street and they were laughing and waving. I was overwhelmed by the sudden realization that this building had a portal to every possible place in the whole universe, including all the universe’s pasts and all its futures. Maybe Raphael had never left the building, but this building was a way bigger place than I originally thought!
And on that note, and before I had time to come up with a plan, I woke up.