This post is part of an ongoing series on how to Raise Your Havingness Level. If you want to know what the Havingness Level is, how to find yours, or simply read the series from the beginning, go to Raise Your Havingness Level: Introduction.

Last week we talked about Dissatisfaction and how it isn’t actually a bad thing, but a really really good thing. I also gave you an exercise to help you start noticing whenever you are dissatisfied with anything, and remind yourself that it is actually a good thing.

But how can you actually start using dissatisfaction to your benefit?

Note: This is the second installment in the Raise Your Havingness Level Series. To find out what the Havingness Level is and how to find yours, click to read Raise Your Havingness Level: Introduction.

Have you ever felt dissatisfied?

I’m gonna go on a wild guess here and say yes. I mean, considering you clicked to read this post. Also –you know- considering you’re human.

Most people spend their lives feeling dissatisfied with all kinds of things.

Mostly themselves.

Most people also spend their lives judging themselves about being dissatisfied, while at the same time judging themselves for not doing something about whatever it is they are dissatisfied with.

Sounds complicated, right?

Yet chances are you go through this cycle multiple times a day yourself.

Maybe you’re one of the people who are dissatisfied with their job (dissatisfaction), and then you get angry with yourself for not asking for a raise or not looking for a better job (judging yourself for not doing something about it), and then you remember that even though you hate your job or your boss, or even though your work environment is toxic, you still have a better-paying job than your friends so you shouldn’t be complaining about it (judging yourself for being dissatisfied to begin with).

Note: this is the first part in a series of posts on how to raise your havingness level. If you want to read the whole series, you will find links to the rest of the posts at the bottom of this post.

Around this time last year, I wrote a post with the title The Quest- Re-enchant Your Life which proved pretty popular. If you haven’t read it yet then go read it. It is all about how to bring the magic and the adventure back into your life. How to become the hero of your own story, slay all the dragons and get everything you want in life. And that’s awesome, and it can work amazingly well for some people, and in some areas of life.

But what about those things we have always wanted, those things that we keep trying to achieve, yet despite our persistent efforts, they remain out of reach?

I hate ironing clothes and I hate washing dishes.

What an uninspiring way to start a post, right? Is it though? When I was 4, I actually LOVED ironing and I loved doing the dishes. I wasn’t allowed to do either (especially ironing) of course because I was 4. That didn’t stop me however from trying. I’d beg my mom to let me iron just one towel, or wash daddy’s coffee cup. After lunch, I’d drag a chair from the dining table to the sink, climb on it and start washing (and making a big mess that my mom had to clean, but that’s a whole different story).

If you are like most people, there have been times in your life when you felt totally stuck.

People often talk about “magical” solutions to problems, but the truth is that -while magic can be immensely helpful in many situations- not all problems can be fixed by simply throwing magic at them.

What makes it even worse is that sometimes, when we’re really stuck, not even messages from spirits that could potentially be helpful seem to get through. Here’s this huge, impenetrable block in front of us and we have no idea how to break through or why it’s even there.