This post is part of an ongoing series on how to Raise Your Havingness Level. If you want to know what the Havingness Level is, how to find yours, or simply read the series from the beginning, go to Raise Your Havingness Level: Introduction.

In the previous weeks we talked about how dissatisfaction is good for you and what to do to use it like a superpower and start manifesting what you want. We also talked about how the instant gratification mentality is actually good for you.

Today I would like to talk though about how we experience dissatisfaction with ourselves.

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THE INNER CRITIC

According to Wikipedia:

"The inner critic or "critical inner voice" is a concept used in popular psychology and psychotherapy to refer to a subpersonality that judges and demeans a person.

A concept similar in many ways to the Freudian superego as inhibiting censor, or the negative Jungian animus, the inner critic is usually experienced as an inner voice attacking a person, saying that he or she is bad, wrong, inadequate, worthless, guilty, and so on."

In simpler terms, the inner critic is the voice in your head that tells you you shouldn't even try things because you're going to fail or embarrass yourself, or that you're incapable of (fill in the gap), or worthless, unlovable, a failure etc.

There are many ways to work with or reframe your inner critic, and I am going to show you some techniques to do just that in future posts. Right now though, I would like to focus on something else.

Something that we usually don't even consider.

ARE THOSE THOUGHTS AND BELIEFS EVEN YOURS?

I know, I know! It's your inner critic talking inside your head, and it probably uses your voice to do that too.

How can those thoughts and beliefs not be yours?

I mean, ok, they may not be true, but since they are inside your head that must mean they're yours, right?

But what if they truly aren't yours? Well, most of them at least.

If you remember, back in the Raise Your Havingness Level: Introduction post, I mentioned that our Havingness Level is usually determined during childhood, based on our family's Havigness Level.

That means that if you have limiting beliefs that create a low havingness level in the same area your family has a low havingness level too, they put those limiting beliefs into your head when you were a child.

But there's more.

The truth is that we are way more connected to everyone and everything around us than we usually realize.

Most of us grew up believing that all our thoughts and feeling are ours. That each person has their own thoughts and feelings, and that -unless someone expresses these thoughts and feelings in some tangible way- we cannot perceive someone else's feelings, let alone experience them ourselves and think they are ours when they are actually coming from them.

But that isn't the case.

If you are a natural telepath, an empath or someone who has been meditating for years and you are able to distinguish which thoughts are yours and which ones come from spirits or other people, you are intimately familiar with what I am talking about.

For the rest of you (or for the telepaths, empaths and magicians out there who want to have more control over their skills and to hone your abilities to distinguish thoughts you pick up from spirits from your own inner dialogue and imagination), there is a great exercise you can use to check for yourselves if any given thought, feeling, belief or even physical sensation is actually yours or if you're picking it up from someone else:

For three days, keep asking yourself for every feeling, thought, emotion or physical sensation that you have:

"Who does this belong to?"

If it isn't yours and you're picking it up from someone else, it will start dissipating.

Check out this video where Dr Dain Heer is explaining this tool and how to use it:

It sounds too simple to work but give it a try and you'll be surprised. I did it for three days and I couldn't believe the things that turned out not to be mine at all. There are some things that we are just so certain they truly are ours but they are not.

My back pain and sciatica is such an example. I had had it on and off for two years. I knew why I had it: I wasn't exercising as much, I have wrong posture, I should have been doing yoga more often because it relieves the symptoms but I kept neglecting it until I was already in pain, etc etc. How could my back pain NOT be mine? How could I be feeling someone else's back pain for two years?

Well I can't explain the mechanics of the "how". All I know is that during my three days of doing the exercise, the pain appeared again, so I asked who it belongs to, not because I expected it to not be mine, but because the exercise is to ask "who does this belong to" about freakin' EVERYTHING.

And the moment I asked, I felt it diminish, just a tiny little bit.

So -just to be sure- I asked again. And again it diminished.

I asked about 15 times and by the 15th time, it was completely gone. It appeared again a few times during that week, and again I asked "who does this belong to?" a few times and it was gone.

After that initial week (which was back in July, by the way), I haven't felt back pain again. Not even once. Not even when doing things that would normally definitely trigger it.

And if a back pain -a physical thing you experience in your body- can be someone else's, imagine how many thoughts and judgments and beliefs that you have and you never even questioned if they are actually yours or someone else's could just...not even be yours.

You may have been trying to reframe or remove or change all those things, thinking they were yours and you have to find a way to deal with them or learn how to live with them, or...or...or....

....when they weren't even yours.

How can you even reframe or change something that DOESN'T originate in you? It's like being depressed and hating yourself and feeling all useless and wrong because of what's on TV. And thinking that if you change your feelings, the TV show will switch to something else by itself, or that the characters in it will make different choices. When you could just acknowledge that you can turn the TV off instead or switch to a different channel that plays something you like instead.

What if it's not your inner voice saying you will never get a promotion because you don't deserve it and you'll just end up failing? What if that's your father thinking that, because that had always been HIS life experience, and he thinks this mentality will save you from the pain of failing?

What if you don't have social anxiety and you're just surrounded by other people who are very uncomfortable in crowds and you just always thought it's you instead? 

What if your physical pain doesn't belong to you at all? What if you could just send it back and be free of it? Wouldn't you be willing to give it a try?

If you want to do the exercise for the full three days, there's an app that can help you. It's available for both iPhone and Android and it's free.

If you want to read more about this tool and discover more tools, exercises and clearings that will change your life and help you raise your Havingness Level, check out Dr. Dain Heer's book "Being You, Changing The World":

This post is part of an ongoing series on how to Raise Your Havingness Level. If you want to know what the Havingness Level is, how to find yours, or simply read the series from the beginning, go to Raise Your Havingness Level: Introduction.

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